A few weeks ago I attended a conference for work with about 250 women. We participated in an activity called “Stand Up For Your Sister.” We each got a piece of paper that listed past experiences that could and most often do cause trauma. Some examples of the statements are: I’ve been raped; I’ve lost a child; I cope with stress using alcohol; I suffer from anxiety; I don’t think I’m enough; I hate how I look; I suffer from fertility issues; and there were many others. We were to place a check mark next to each statement that we had experienced or that described how we feel about ourselves. The next step was to pass the papers all around the room so that each woman would no longer have her own and would have no idea who was holding her paper. It was completely anonymous.
The most powerful part of the experience happened next. We each held another woman’s paper. Each statement was read one at a time. We were to stand up if the experience being read was checked on the paper we were holding. In other words, we were to “stand up for our sister.” I can’t begin to describe how emotional an experience this was. It was like we were literally being transplanted into someone else’s shoes, someone else’s pain, someone else’s trauma.
Three things were revealed to me. Number one, we are not alone. Pain is not reserved for a small group of people. It is everywhere, and if I am struggling with something, there is a hundred percent chance someone else is, too. There wasn’t one statement read where only one person stood up. There were always multiple women standing and in most cases, many women standing. Number two, we don’t know what people around us are going through. Things may look pretty on the outside but on the inside there could be so much pain that it would break your heart to hear their story. And number three, we need to love on each other. Why is it that women can be so hard on each other? Why do we judge and criticize each other? If we knew even the slightest thing about another woman’s walk, their true story, all that they’ve been through and are going through, I believe we couldn’t help but shower each other with compassion.
In order to do that, though, in order to know people, we have to lean in, and we have to let people in. And that’s going to mean leaning in to people who have different beliefs than you, different backgrounds, different political persuasions. I believe that we are more alike than we are different. I know this because when something heart breaking in the world happens, we all feel it. It breaks our hearts, too. Chances are none of us know Vanessa Bryant personally, but when we read her social media posts about Kobe and her daughter, Gigi, we are brought to tears and can feel her pain in our own hearts. It’s because we are more alike than we are different.
When we stood up for our sisters in that room, we were all moved, many of us to tears. Sisters, let’s make a pact today. Let’s make a pact to lean in to people, to forgive people, to lift people up, to love people. Let’s makes a pact to stand up for our sisters.
We’d love to connect with you on Instagram @likeasister.com and if you’re on Facebook, please join our page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2182734028690186/
