Have you ever found yourself falling back into a habit that you thought you kicked? Or maybe not so much a habit but an unhealthy and unhelpful thought pattern? This happened to me recently, and I was reminded again how powerful our mind is and that I am in charge of my thoughts.
I was visiting with a friend recently who I see about twice a year. She is an elementary principal and is also in the middle of her doctorate program. I was asking her what her career aspirations are after she completes her program. She shared with me some really lofty goals. I was impressed to say the least.
My sister, Jessica, a Like a Sister Co-Founder, recently accepted a full time teaching position for the fall in a brand new realm, middle school, teaching family science classes as well as language arts. In order to do this she had to go back to school to get a North Dakota teaching license all while running a very successful side hustle and raising four boys.
A business partner of mine recently submitted a business plan to our corporate leadership team on her ideas for an upcoming product launch. She shared with me that she had a million ideas and was excited to put them into a plan that she will eventually share with top leaders in our company.
Can you guess where this is going? The negative self talk started. “Am I not ambitious enough? Am I not doing enough? What is wrong with me? I don’t have any desire to go back to school. Is that a bad thing? Why don’t I have big ideas for a business plan? Should I have bigger career aspirations?”
Here I was, caught in the comparison trap again. Looking around at other women and feeling like I am not enough. I’ve been in this place before. I know I don’t like it here. I know it’s not healthy. I know it’s not helpful. But most of all, I know it’s not true. Years ago it would have taken me days, weeks, or even longer to recognize this negative thought pattern. But this time I saw it for what it was very quickly. Or I should say my husband did. We were visiting on the back porch one evening and I was sharing with him how I was feeling. He said, “you’re comparing yourself again. It sounds like you should write about this.” So here I am.
Sisters, have you ever found yourself in this place? The place of comparison. You’re looking around at what others have, what others are doing, other people’s children and other people’s marriages and thinking you are not enough. That you “should” be this or you “should” be that. My guess is yes. I think we all have.
I am me. I am a wife and a mom. I love to be outside. I love to hike and fish and run and do yoga. I like to garden. I love to read. I love to write. I have a successful business where I get to help people. I am happy. I am content.
That is enough. I am enough.
You are you. You are enough.
I’ve read a lot lately about the concept of “becoming” from authors like Glennon Doyle to Sue Monk Kidd and Michelle Obama, too. They have me thinking what if rather than trying to become someone who we are not, rather than trying to squeeze ourselves into a mold that doesn’t fit, that isn’t authentic to who we are, what if instead we tried to “become” more of who we are. Imagine the freedom we all would feel.
There is only one you. There is only one me. Let’s not compare. Rather let’s accept and become.
